(This is from the Insider Newsletter that I sent out earlier today…)
Back in early 2023 I wrote a long blog post about my struggles with alcohol and how I’d decided to stop. I made it a few months, and then several times on and off after that, in the classic struggle to actually stop and stay stopped, until February last year, when it finally stuck.
This Friday (2/20/26) I’ll be sober for a year.
If you struggle yourself, or know anyone who struggles with alcohol problems, you’ll know that a full trip around the sun sober is a major milestone and a significant mental achievement.
Why am I telling you this? I’m not bragging or looking for affirmation. I was public here about my struggle back in 2023 because I wanted people in the SQL community who were struggling to know that they’re not alone and it’s nothing to be ashamed of (and boy, was I surprised by the number of ‘me too!’ emails). And now I’m being public about how I failed to stop a few times but persevered and eventually hit on the combination of things that let me stop and stay stopped.
Perseverance was the key. Eventually I figured out:
- A. A. just wasn’t for me. I’m not a ‘group chat/extemporaneous sharing’ person. It was great back in 2023 for the structure it provided over the first couple of months, but later I found myself not looking forward to meetings.
- I needed substitutes. I found Athletic IPA, which tastes just like the real thing, but non-alcoholic and is pretty ubiquitous (along with Heineken Zero) in bars and restaurants. Chardonnay used to be my go-to, but non-alcoholic wine…. <yuck> And I also found Free Spirits ‘bourbon’, so I can have my late-night ‘clinky drink’ while I’m reading. And often around 5-6pm I’ll go for a drive for a bit, as that was my usual ‘start time’.
So far, so good – this is working for me nicely!
If you’re struggling to meet a goal, don’t give up. The horribly-clichéd proverb ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’ is very true. And if you’re struggling to give up alcohol, or any other addiction, don’t lose hope. You can do it. And there are people who care that you do.
24 thoughts on “Achievement Unlocked: One Year Sober”
Congratulations, sir! And thanks for sharing it with everyone. You’re a role model in a lot of ways. Hugs!
Thank you my friend ♡
Congratulations man. Hope the journey brings you happiness.
Thanks Erik – it certainly has!
Fabulous news, well done. I wrote you a comment back in 2023 about my own struggle; I’ve just been back to have a look at that post – I expect it’s your highest scoring “comments” blog post :)
Finding a substitute drink was a big part of my success and I too tried alcohol free wine – – and settled on 0% beer. Also (dunno if available your side of the Pond) Ceder’s Classic (distilled non-alcoholic spirit) for a G&T substitute
Thanks! Substitutes are definitely key for me too.
I am very happy to read you succeeded! Keep going.
Greetings from Finland
Thanks!
I read this on the 17th but had to come back today on the 1 year to say congrats. I know very many in the same shoes and AA helped them because it replaced the time they spent at the bar or social area drinking. Many need the same social activity. You seem to have handled it very well with the substitutes and hopefully you can get lost in books.
You always have been a role model for many and I find it very inspiring you can openly share your struggles to make it easier for others with our own challenges. Keep it up.
Many thanks for the kind words Shawn!
Dear Paul,
Congratulations on this fantastic news. It’s truly an outstanding achievement, and your decision to share it publicly reflects a strong sense of responsibility and accountability.
Wishing you continued success and even greater milestones ahead.
Ad majora!
Many thanks – you too – ad maiora semper!
Congratulations, thanks for sharing
Thanks!
My key factor is… it all starts at the supermarket:
– If I don’t buy alcohol and I don’t have it at home… I don’t drink.
– if I don’t buy cigarettes… what can I smoke after dinner?
– if I don’t buy bread, chocolate, but only fruits…. I have nothing to eat at night.
But this worked for me.
It might not work for everyone. But give it a try ;)
Congratulations Paul and thanks for being brave and sharing your story.
I’m glad to be part of a community that is so open about things both the technical and the personal stuff. This will help many people i’m sure, and great to see multiple approaches listed.
Wishing you well on your recovery, and to anyone else out there partaking of a similar journey.
Congrats Paul, the substitutes is a great suggestion. I don’t want to miss socializing, being with friends and talk. I do drink twice a week (reached to this stage after a long time) one outside with friends and one at home! having it at home is boring these days and I am hating it and wake up next day with regret but cannot stop, lol. I will also reach there (be sober) one day.
Thanks – you’ll make it!
Well done, Paul. I know, from giving up smoking, how hard this kind of thing is. Stay strong.
Thanks!
Something to be proud of! And thanks for the tips on Athletic IPA and Heineken 00.
Thanks!
Well done Paul! I’m so pleased to hear you’ve found what works for you.
Thanks Simon!