(This is from the Insider Newsletter that I sent out earlier today…)
Back in early 2023 I wrote a long blog post about my struggles with alcohol and how I’d decided to stop. I made it a few months, and then several times on and off after that, in the classic struggle to actually stop and stay stopped, until February last year, when it finally stuck.
This Friday (2/20/26) I’ll be sober for a year.
If you struggle yourself, or know anyone who struggles with alcohol problems, you’ll know that a full trip around the sun sober is a major milestone and a significant mental achievement.
Why am I telling you this? I’m not bragging or looking for affirmation. I was public here about my struggle back in 2023 because I wanted people in the SQL community who were struggling to know that they’re not alone and it’s nothing to be ashamed of (and boy, was I surprised by the number of ‘me too!’ emails). And now I’m being public about how I failed to stop a few times but persevered and eventually hit on the combination of things that let me stop and stay stopped.
Perseverance was the key. Eventually I figured out:
- A. A. just wasn’t for me. I’m not a ‘group chat/extemporaneous sharing’ person. It was great back in 2023 for the structure it provided over the first couple of months, but later I found myself not looking forward to meetings.
- I needed substitutes. I found Athletic IPA, which tastes just like the real thing, but non-alcoholic and is pretty ubiquitous (along with Heineken Zero) in bars and restaurants. Chardonnay used to be my go-to, but non-alcoholic wine…. <yuck> And I also found Free Spirits ‘bourbon’, so I can have my late-night ‘clinky drink’ while I’m reading. And often around 5-6pm I’ll go for a drive for a bit, as that was my usual ‘start time’.
So far, so good – this is working for me nicely!
If you’re struggling to meet a goal, don’t give up. The horribly-clichéd proverb ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’ is very true. And if you’re struggling to give up alcohol, or any other addiction, don’t lose hope. You can do it. And there are people who care that you do.